I recently shared a little insight into my experience at a narcissistic church and it resonated with so many of you. I’ve had so many people message me privately to say they now feel ok knowing it wasn’t just them. The incidents are not isolated cases, which is sad. Nothing has been acknowledged, despite them knowing who they are and being hit with two public “callings out” within days of each other, but that is how narcissism goes, how it thrives. It loves silence, but I am afraid the seal of silence has been well and truly broken now. It is not untouchable, as much they would like to believe it is. Ask Brian Houston.
The world can be an ugly place when individuals are allowed to carry on with little regard for the lives they break along the way. I feel very lucky though they didn’t break me. Since leaving nine years ago my life has gone from strength to strength, I’ve conquered battles I never thought I would, I have a beautiful family, a loving home, amazing friendships and I am never a doormat for other people who are in positions of power that they excuse with the name of Jesus.
I used to be ashamed I put up with their crap for so long, but they are the ones who need to be ashamed. Their cycles of manipulation and people joining and leaving their church are just plain old boring now. The money side is boring, everybody just expects it now.
My head hits my pillow each evening knowing I have zero skeletons in my closet and I sleep peacefully. My life doesn’t depend on a plastic bucket being sent around an auditorium. If I can help somebody then I will, regardless of what they have to offer in return.
My family is my priority and nobody will ever take their place; no rehearsal, no meeting, no coffee guilt-trip date, nothing. My commitment to things is exactly that, mine. My life, my own rules. And that is how life should be lived! Free from the worry of displeasing someone who wouldn’t even offer you an umbrella if it was raining.
If anything has resonated with you then I truly hope you are on the road to a free life. Don’t waste your time feeling scared or bullied. There is life outside of the narcissistic church and it is beautiful! You deserve that.
There is a huge wave coming of people speaking up, not a ripple, a wave. The waters are not calm and although that may scare you or feel bumpy it will be totally worth it for the view on the other side; accountability and not abuse.
The only thing worse than evil is people seeing the evil being done and staying silent. Some things are better left unsaid and my list of those is endless as I am not into ruining peoples lives and sharing things which aren’t my own, but THIS is all worth sharing, this is my own, this needs calling out. People need to be held publicly accountable because behind the scenes accountability hasn’t worked for the last thirty plus years has it?
It’s time to speak up.