Since becoming a momma to two boys I’ve quickly learnt that they are a totally different species to girls. I am constantly asking my husband if their behaviour is normal for boys. Is it normal they slam dunk each other at every opportunity? Is it normal they turn everything into a weapon to either chop or shoot eachother with? Is it normal to eat your bogeys? Is it normal to not be able to sit still for more than thirty seconds? Is it normal to spend 15 minutes carefully building a Duplo creation just to knock it down with Buzz Lightyear in one foul swoop? I am assured, without a doubt, that, yes, they are very normal.
I often find myself saying the most obscure things to them, and telling them off for doing things that I never even dreamt were doable. The things you say as parents are crazy! If these sentences were used on their own you’d think I was rearing some sort of Mowgli. I thought I’d compile a few examples for your entrainment. Here goes:
“D2! Do not lick the fence panels you’ll get splinters in your tongue!”
“D2 stop shouting ‘roll up roll up it’s face paint time’. The sand in your hand is not facepaint. Do not throw it at D1’s face!”
“Don’t lick the cat!”
“Get your face out of the cat bowl!”
“Do not feed your brother your bogeys!”
“Do not eat your brothers bogeys!”
“Do not spit into your brothers mouth!”
“Don’t eat the cat fluff!”
“Get Mcqueen out of my cup!”
“Stop eating chalk!”
“Stop sucking bricks!”
“Don’t push the post back through the letterbox!”
“Get off my windowsill!”
“Don’t eat things out the bin!”
“Get out the bin!”
“Please do not wee over your brother in the bath! ”
“No, i do not want to smell your fingers!”
“Don’t throw Cheerios at the tv!”
“Don’t post Batman in Daddys sub speaker!”
“Don’t lick the tv!”
“Don’t pull your tinky so hard!”
“Please don’t paint each other!”
“Please don’t sit on your brothers head!”
“Don’t throw the bread at the ducks face!”
“Don’t ride your bike in the pool!”
“Please get your hands out of your nappy!”
“No you’re not having cake. It’s 4.45am!”
“Nooooo. It’s salt, NOT sprinkles!”
“Please don’t lick my toe!”
“Do not throw rocks at your brothers head!”
“Please get your naked butt off my pillow!”
“Don’t put peas up your nose!”
“Do not pour your milk out and jump in it!”
“Please don’t lick your brothers wellies!”
“Do not stick your toe up the hot water tap!”
“Please don’t poke things down the back of the radiator!”
“Please don’t stroke your goldfish so hard!”
“Please don’t eat the butter like it’s yoghurt!”
“Please get your hand out of the toilet. Your brother is trying to wee!”
In fact my list of funny things I find myself saying could go on! How about you? What funny things do you find yourself saying? Follow me on Facebook and Twitter and let me know!
