Some days I wake up like Mary Poppins with the patience of Mother Theresa, mixed in with the determination of Super Nanny. Other days I wake up and within minutes my energy has been zapped, my patience stretched and snapped, and my ability to think before I speak ceases to work. These days leave you feeling deflated and like the worst mother on the planet, but you’re not; you’re normal! Not by Pinterest standards, but by real human being standards!
There are only so many times in the space of thirty minutes that you can repeat yourself without getting frustrated. “Don’t kick your brother!” “Don’t kick your brother, especially in the face!” “Right you can sit out now because I told you not to kick again!” “Get back here, I’ll count to three!” “Do not hit me!”.
Sometimes I keep my cool although inside I’m simmering. Other times I get louder and louder. My husband says I have a ‘loud gene’ I’ve inherited. My two kids have inherited it too!
After a day of raising my voice and losing my cool I feel poop. It makes me feel like I’ve failed as a parent. I have to remind myself tomorrow is a new day!
Some days you’ll be Mary Poppins and other days you’ll be the Grinch, that’s life. The only time to worry is when you’re the Grinch more than the Mary!
I’ve found that consciously making myself count to five before I react to a stubborn toddler really helps. It makes you reassess your frustrated outburst and let’s you reply calmly. Try it next time you’re being driven around the bend!
We have to accept the frustrating days and remember the stubborn mules we live with are just children. They’re little people trying to figure out their emotions and the world around them, and us as parents should be the lamp to their little feet.
Remember our children get their emotional cues from us. They learn how to deal with their emotions from the people around them. I have a very short temper, with adults mainly but occasionally I do lose my temper and end up shouting at my kids, but I always apologise to them and reassure them. I talk to them about why I got frustrated and that you shouldn’t shout. Never be above apologising.
I’ll be totally honest now sometimes my kids are so naughty I wish I could hold a grudge and not speak to them for the rest of the day, but for obvious reasons I don’t act on those feelings, I love them through gritted teeth. Just kidding! 😉
This parenting malarkey is hard enough without you being hard on yourself too. It’s a journey, a learning journey. You learn on the job. You have to give yourself a break. You’re not gonna get everything right all of the time, but if you’re kids are happy and loved and they know they’re loved then you’re doing a marvellous job!
Parents, you’re nothing short of Super heroes! So on the days when your cape slips, snuggle your babies goodnight, read them an extra story, have a big slice of chocolate cake, and go to bed early ready for a new day tomorrow.
Your babies don’t hold grudges against you so don’t hold one against yourself!