Manners do NOT make you cute!

My two year old went through a very odd phase of saying ‘please’ after every sentence. He would say please at the appropriate times but also at very inappropriate times. I’ve put together a list of my favourite questions from him:

“I eat the crayon please?”

He points to the burning flames on the fire “I touch it please?”

He points to a dirty gate “I lick it please?”

He puts a plastic spider in my coffee “I dip it please?”

“I run off please?”

“I bite you please?”

He hands me the post “I rip it up please?”

His brother spends ages building a sandcastle “I jump on it please?”

We see doggy mess on the floor at the park “I pick it up please?”

“I cut a potatoe with mummys big scissors please?”

“I lick the dirty sand please?”

“I smack Levi please?”

“I chalk your sofa please?”

“I poke plug please?”

“I get in bin please?”

“I see my tinky please?”

“I show Levi my tinky please?”

“I draw on your pillows please?”

“I scratch your cheek please?”

“I be a naughty boy please?”

“I ruin your floor please”

As you can see, I had a very polite two year old, mixed in with a whole lot of rascal!

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Will I Be A Better Parent Tomorrow?

Every single day I go to bed wondering if tomorrow I’ll be a better momma. Some nights it’s a fleeing thought. Some nights it lingers and sleeps next to me on a soggy pillow. Being a parent is hard. Emotionally hard. Physically hard. Mentally hard. Just plain old hard. It is the biggest responsibility I have ever known.

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Your own childhood stays with you for a lifetime, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Your main caregivers shaped your emotions, and your behaviour, and chances are you still see the resemblance today, whether good or bad.

I grew up with yelling. Every single day aggression and yelling. I learnt quickly that if you were upset or angry, or sad that yelling was the outlet to use. I yell. I hate that trait about myself, but in all honesty it’s a hard habit to break. I am still trying, and will continue to. Some days I don’t yell. Other days I feel like all I do is yell. Those days make me feel consumed with guilt. I convince myself that when I get to the end of my tether with my boys and yell that they’re gonna grow up resenting me and be dysfunctional. I am so aware of making good memories that I feel a failure if my children have a bad one by being yelled at by their momma.

I love my children beyond words and I would sacrifice anything for them, and often do. They’re the centre of my world and will always come first. Nothing could change that yet it’s hard when you feel like you’re always falling short. In comparison to other mums you feel below par and quite frankly just not cut out for your role as a momma. I feel that often.

After particularly shouty days I’ll often scour google and forums looking for some reassurance that I’m not the worst mum in the universe, and lo and behold I find that I’m not alone in my thinking. Other parents yell, yet desperately love their kids and definitely deserve to be a parent. Other parents struggle with the behaviours of their toddlers. Other parents have faced childhood challenges and are overcoming them day by day. Other parents relapse. Other parents cry themselves to sleep. Other parents want to walk out the door. Other parents want to close their eyes and not open them again. I am like other parents. I am real. I am not perfect. I have to remind myself of this daily. Remind yourself too!

My children need love, acceptance, a mentor, a friend, a protector, a teacher, a warrior, loyalty, someone who believes in them, safety, and a bag of hugs that never runs dry. I am all of these mixed in with my flaws. All the rest override my flaws, your flaws. Nobody can be a perfect parent, but you can be the most amazing parent your children need by simply being you and working on your flaws without guilt consuming you.

Sleep easy tonight. Tomorrow is a new day. Pick yourself up and try again. Myself included.

Always Running Late

Since becoming a mum my punctuality is mostly appalling. As my children get older my punctuality gets worse, well I say ‘my’ but I’m never the reason we are late, my two rascals are.

Sometimes there are genuine reasons for our lateness; kids with a fever, nappy changes, sleeping through the alarm, power cuts etc. But most of the time there are not so genuine reasons that make me late. I refer to these as not so genuine but in actual fact they are genuine, they’re just not deemed acceptable by people without children.

I have hundreds of examples of why we run late, but I’ve hand picked the reoccurring ones for this post;

One child needs an emergency poop

One child doesn’t quite make it to the toilet

One child has a meltdown because his brother has eaten cheesy crisps “He stinks! I’m not getting in tthe car with him. I want him to stay home!”

One child refuses point blank to brush his teeth and face plants the floor, causing an emotional break down.

One child grabs the post from the doormat. The other child wanted to first. A fist fight occurs.

One child wants a custard cream. We don’t have any custard creams. He will not believe me.

One child throws cheerios at the other. Both boys fight. Two changes of clothes needed.

One child won’t get in the car. It’s too hot. Full blown tantrum. He is karate chopped into his seat.

One child refused to have a bath. I bathed him anyway. My bathroom floor is ruined.

One child wanted a banana. The other child stole his banana and stamped on it. Tantrum prevails plus cleanup mission.

One child eats my eye shadow.

One child insists I remove a wedged bogey.

One child refuses to wear his tiger t-shirt because “It’s scary!”. It was the only thing clean.

One child wants to watch the end of The Lorax before we leave. The other child switches the TV off anyway. Cue fight.

One child randomly kicks me. He will not sit out. Forty minute battle of wills commences.

Momma has to get changed after she finds an unidentifiable squishy bogey type mess on her shoulder.

Momma had to search the whole house for her phone. It was in her pocket.

One child needed to set out all 458 toy soldiers in a straight line ready for his return. The other child thought it was a game of domino’s.

One child needed to find that Kinder Egg toy he had 3 years ago, and hasn’t been seen since!

The drinking cups have travelled to the Bermuda Triangle.

Daddy took a three week vacation in the bathroom.

My list could go on, it’s endless!

So next time I’m late meet me with chocolate and an expresso, chances are I’ll be needing both!

Pause. Then React.

Some days I wake up like Mary Poppins with the patience of Mother Theresa, mixed in with the determination of Super Nanny. Other days I wake up and within minutes my energy has been zapped, my patience stretched and snapped, and my ability to think before I speak ceases to work. These days leave you feeling deflated and like the worst mother on the planet, but you’re not; you’re normal! Not by Pinterest standards, but by real human being standards!

There are only so many times in the space of thirty minutes that you can repeat yourself without getting frustrated. “Don’t kick your brother!” “Don’t kick your brother, especially in the face!” “Right you can sit out now because I told you not to kick again!” “Get back here, I’ll count to three!” “Do not hit me!”.

Sometimes I keep my cool although inside I’m simmering. Other times I get louder and louder. My husband says I have a ‘loud gene’ I’ve inherited. My two kids have inherited it too!

After a day of raising my voice and losing my cool I feel poop. It makes me feel like I’ve failed as a parent. I have to remind myself tomorrow is a new day!

Some days you’ll be Mary Poppins and other days you’ll be the Grinch, that’s life. The only time to worry is when you’re the Grinch more than the Mary!

I’ve found that consciously making myself count to five before I react to a stubborn toddler really helps. It makes you reassess your frustrated outburst and let’s you reply calmly. Try it next time you’re being driven around the bend!

We have to accept the frustrating days and remember the stubborn mules we live with are just children. They’re little people trying to figure out their emotions and the world around them, and us as parents should be the lamp to their little feet.

Remember our children get their emotional cues from us. They learn how to deal with their emotions from the people around them. I have a very short temper, with adults mainly but occasionally I do lose my temper and end up shouting at my kids, but I always apologise to them and reassure them. I talk to them about why I got frustrated and that you shouldn’t shout. Never be above apologising.

I’ll be totally honest now sometimes my kids are so naughty I wish I could hold a grudge and not speak to them for the rest of the day, but for obvious reasons I don’t act on those feelings, I love them through gritted teeth. Just kidding! 😉

This parenting malarkey is hard enough without you being hard on yourself too. It’s a journey, a learning journey. You learn on the job. You have to give yourself a break. You’re not gonna get everything right all of the time, but if you’re kids are happy and loved and they know they’re loved then you’re doing a marvellous job!

Parents, you’re nothing short of Super heroes! So on the days when your cape slips, snuggle your babies goodnight, read them an extra story, have a big slice of chocolate cake, and go to bed early ready for a new day tomorrow.

Your babies don’t hold grudges against you so don’t hold one against yourself!

Be a YES parent

Sometimes we get into such a routine of saying ‘no’ to our children,  not out of being a bad parent but just because we condition ourselves into having this response.

D1: “Can I tip this tub of trains out Mummy?”
Me: “No, it’s too messy, you don’t need to!”

I say no because it’s convenient for me. Surely he can play without tipping them all out, and I guarantee I’ll be the one putting them all back into the tub later. D1 looks sad.

Why didn’t I just say yes?

A tipped out tub of trains wouldn’t be that messy, he probably just wanted to see which ones he’d got, and he would have probably helped me pick them up.

D1: “Mummy can we play outside in the rain? ”
Me: “No it’s too wet, and you’ll get filthy!”

I say no because it’s more convenient for me. I don’t want to stand in the rain. I’ll have to wash wellies and dry coats, and even iron fresh clothes. D1 looks sad.

Why didn’t I just say yes? Puddle jumping is fun. Dirt washes away. We have plenty of fresh clothes to put on. Fresh air is good for them and gets rids of their excess energy.

D2: “I play playdoh a bit!”
Me: “No we’ll play with it later I’ve just swept the floor!”

I say no because I’ve cleaned the house and want it to stay tidy. Playdoh is so messy. Plus they’ve just had a bath and don’t need playdoh stuck in their fingernails. D2 cries.

Why didn’t I just say yes? Who cares if I have to sweep again? Will it hurt me?! No! Who cares if they need rebathing? They love the water anyway. They love creating playdoh models, why don’t I use the time to interact with them?

 

Be A Yes Parent by Becci Nicholls | Photo: © Miredi

Be A Yes Parent by Becci Nicholls | Photo: © Miredi

It’s so easy to say ‘no’ without thinking things through. Children are not an inconvenience.

Do you want to create a tidy house with neatly stacked toys or do you want to create memories to cherish forever?

The truth about YES parenting

All the above are actually real examples, but I learnt a long time ago to say yes whenever I can. Life is too short to be anything less than fun. An untidy house doesn’t matter, but your children do. A simple yes will make their day. Try it out!

My boys love making my garden look a mess. Onlookers would see sand covering every concrete surface, chalk drawings on the floor, fences, and sheds, an upturned police car, water soaked toys, an empty sand pit, and a slide covered in wet sand. My kids see an adventure land / beach. They’ve carefully spilt the sand. They’ve drawn sharks in chalk. They’ve tipped their police car upside down to fix it with their invisible tools. They’ve played. They’ve unreservedly played, and that’s what rears happy children. Fearless children.

Sand can be swept up. Chalk can be washed away. Toys can dry out. Cars can be put the right way up. But children’s memories cannot be faked; they’re either good or not good.

Last week I filled our garden path with shaving foam and hid lots of dinosaurs in the ‘snow’. It was messy from the start. It got even messier when they figured out clapping your hands in the foam created a mini blizzard! I could have easily not bothered, or said no to the clapping but they had so much fun! They even spoke about it the next day! And the worst that happened? We all had to get changed.

Does your babba want three bedtime stories? Why not! Who’s counting anyway? One day they’ll be too big to have a bedtime story so don’t ever refuse them now.

It’s not about saying yes all of the time

Obviously this post is about saying yes more often in regards to fun and play, it’s not about saying yes to everything else. Children need healthy boundaries, but they also need a safe environment to be children. Let your babbas be free to play. Yes parenting is vital to their development.

Try having a day of ‘yes’, let them have fun, messy fun. You’ll enjoy it too and feel much more relaxed!

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Becoming a Momma

Having my first child was a shock to my system. When you’re pregnant you receive so much advice it is unbelievable. Now, I’m not really sure who wrote this rule but, being pregnant means that any Tom, Dick, or Harry, known to you or unknown, can give you advice about how to rear your child “correctly”!

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As a first time momma you worry about every single thing. You worry if you’re eating the right things during pregnancy (will that one stray bitesize piece of nut that somehow appeared in your carefully dissected cake give your child a nut allergy or a serious illness?) or will lying on your tummy somehow harm your baby. You spend every waking thought conjuring up worst case scenarios and how you would deal with them.

As a first time momma you plan all the things you’re going to buy; the cot, the moses basket, the bumper set, the bottles, the steriliser, the cot mobile, the pram, the car seat, their first outfit etc. You plan all the baby crafts you’re going to do and all the memories you’re going to make. You look forward to maternity leave and the lunches you’ll have, and the trips to the park.

As a first time momma you are very unrealistic. Nobody told you that you’d be so sleep deprived you’d sit on your bathroom floor crying uncontrollably at 2am because your baby will not settle for the sixteenth night in a row. Nobody told you that’s normal. Nobody told you how colic tests you to the limit. Nobody told you your laundry basket would never be empty. Nobody told you that the ‘sleep when baby sleeps’ advice is rubbish advice because it never happens. Nobody told you a simple trip to the grocery store would take you three hours just to leave the house.

During pregnancy nobody told you that you’d feel unattractive. Nobody told you you’d feel distant from your husband because your brains constantly running on overdrive mode. Nobody told you that you’d rather spend your days locked away in your house wearing your pyjamas. Nobody told you that you’d feel antisocial. Nobody told you that sometimes you have to rewash the clothes in the washing machine for a third time because they’ve been in there wet for two days. Nobody told you going to baby groups would be as nerve racking as starting high school.

Being a momma is hard, it’s a learning journey. You have to learn how to juggle being a momma with housework, appointments, grocery shopping, being a wife etc, whilst trying hard not to let go of the person you are also. If you achieve all of this then let me know your secret!

When you become a momma you compare yourself to so many ideals, and you aim unrealistically high, so sure enough you fail to reach your impossible standards. It’s very easy to fall into that trap, but if you do then you have to pull yourself out of it! Motherhood is a personal journey, a unique journey. Your motherhood journey will never be the same as anybody elses, and that is something to cherish; you write your own story. You don’t need to compare your story with anybody else’s, and especially not to another mums highlight reel!

My first child was a shocker to my system, but a good one don’t get me wrong! Nobody can prepare you for the experience though, and nobody can write your story either. You suddenly have this little human for whom you’re responsible. They come before everything, everyone, and even yourself. You burp them. Feed them. Bath them. Clean milky spew. Make bottles. Worry when they have a fever. You know everything about them, every detail. You wipe their tears. You cuddle. You snuggle. You sniff them. You fall asleep with them. And you turn into a momma bear if anything compromises their safety or their feelings!

Being a momma is hard. Being a momma is sometimes stressful, you worry constantly if you’re enough for them. You are! You’re perfect for them. The only momma they need! And that perfectly tidy house you think you should have!? That’s a load of rubbish too! Obviously don’t live in filth,
but if it’s a choice between nurturing your child through playing etc or mopping the floor choose your child every time. With your last breath you’re not gonna wish your house was cleaner!

Enjoy your journey, it’s something no one else can experience!

You are enough!

I actually began writing this post last week and then broke away from it. Circumstances that week made me slip into a dangerous self-loathing zone, and I felt like a fraud writing an upbeat blog telling people they are good enough as the are, when infact I actually felt ready to give up. I felt beyond inadequate. I felt worthless. I eventually crawled out of the rut, and ignored my heart for a few hours until it finally came into line with my head. All is now good, until next time, I am, after all, human. Here goes…

At one time or another we all feel below par and not good enough, that’s part of life, but what if the feeling lingers and seeps through into every area of your life? That’s what happened to me, and sometimes still does.

Motherhood makes you very vulnerable in regards to your emotional health, and you have to adjust to a crazy amount of changes.

Pre-motherhood I wasn’t exactly on a platform of emotional stability anyway, not that everyone could tell though, I’m pretty good at faking confidence and a carefree attitude, as you have already read a little about in one of my previous blogs The Silent Struggle.

Before I became a momma I spent the majority of days feeling inadequate, and I felt a constant need for gratification. I was a closet people pleaser, I guess I still am to a certain extent. I cannot stand to think that someone doesn’t like me, no matter how bad they treat me, I take it very personal.

Then I became a momma and I called a halt to various situations and people which were having such a negative impact on my life. Writing this now is easy, implementing it a few years ago was heartbreaking yet also necessary. It’s hard when the people who should innately love you beyond comprehension don’t. It leaves you feeling inadequate, and constantly worrying why they couldn’t. Self loathing permeates your very being, and a poor self image reins.

Even removing yourself from situations that are damaging emotionally does not eradicate the pain caused and it certainly does not change your inner thought processes, not over night anyway. Changing your mindset from inadequate to enough is a long, hard journey, but a very possible one!

Once you’re a momma a new ‘Am I enough?’ journey begins. And I’m not sure it actually ever ends, it just changes. There are so many stop offs on this journey. Here are three popular places I’ve stopped off at so far:

Pinterest Park – I love Pinterest, and have spent numerous hours pinning ideas for crafts, parties, outfits, my garden, and general humorous and inspirational quotes. Pinterest is a great tool, however it is also a great discourager. My house never looks shabby chic like the pins do, my cakes don’t look like the pins do, I don’t make my own household cleaners with vinegar and lemon juice like the pins do, my puppets didn’t work because I can’t thread a needle, my body is way beyond the five steps to a bikini body pin, I don’t know how to make furniture from pallets, my house isn’t always photograph ready like the pins, and so on. Pinterest makes me sometimes feel like a not good enough momma, it shows me everything I cannot do. I long to be the perfect momma; chirpy, homemade muffins for breakfast, several craft activities planned, spotless house, no laundry left to do, perfect garden, and flawless hair and makeup. This ideal doesn’t actually exist – life is not a Pinterest board. Give yourself a break – you’re good enough just as you are!

Opinionville – I stop here quite often, although not nearly as often as I used to. Anybody who knows me will know I am quite confident with telling people what I think, however, I usually make sure I have experience in the subject at hand first. One thing that really grates on me is uneducated over-opinionated people who put their mouth in gear way before their brain. These kind of people let you know the correct way you should be disciplining your child, how many hours sleep they need, what they shouldn’t be eating, what clothes they should be dressed in, how children should not be messy etc etc. They basically tell you that everything you’ve decided to do for your children is wrong and unless you bring up your children using their suggestions then you will raise a criminal. Let me tell you now, you do what you gotta do, momma knows best. You are good enough just as you are.

Showroom Lagoon – I visit here for a few seconds most days, but rarely do I set up camp and stay. Showroom Lagoon tells me my house should be spotless with everything in its place. Showroom Lagoon shows me dazzling fireplaces, clean windows, like-new beige carpets, freshly baked cupcakes in the kitchen, a sparkling oven, and a dust-free zone. My reality is the opposite; windows I planned to clean two months ago still remain neglected, dust is settled on most things above one metre high, toys on the floor, toys under the sofa, toys on the window sill, fingerprints on the mirror, jam on my tv screen, chalk on my wall, cushions scattered around the room, and general disarray. But hang on a minute…I’m not auditioning for the best kept house, I’m bringing up my children. My babies won’t remember if momma dusted the fireplace, they’ll remember when momma helped them build a volcanoe and the cavemen got attacked by the dinosaurs. You won’t have time to live up to Showroom Lagoons expectations and memory make too, but that’s ok, you’re not a failure, you’re good enough just as you are. Choose the memory making every time! Before you breathe your last breath you won’t be worrying if your cushions are neatly on the sofa!

Don’t let anything dictate your worth. You are more than enough. Despite the tired eyes, the unwashed hair, the spotted-by-yoghurt thighs, cheerios stuck to the sofa, and half-emptied dishwasher, you are enough and doing just fine! Keep going momma!

The grass is greener when you add a filter

We all know the saying that the grass is greener where you water it. Today I made up my own; the grass is greener when you add a filter.

My life isn’t perfect, my parenting skills are below par, some days I moan, some days I cry, some days I don’t do any housework, yet social media photo uploads rarely portray real life.

Some days I post photographs of our messy time, this photo captures one happy second when all was going well. It doesn’t capture the glue all over my chair and in D2’s hair, or the tantrum D1 threw when I told him he couldn’t put glue on the cat, or the billion sequins D2 scattered around my kitchen, or the snotty sneeze that D1 did that resulted in new pieces of paper all round! Social media life plus one point, real life minus one point!

Some days I post a photograph of a coffee shop stop-off. This photograph shows two cute little brothers sitting nicely eating a cakepop and sipping a babycino. Those few seconds are magical. Little do you know the minutes after are often a nightmare. The photograph doesn’t show the tantrum D1 had about a pecan slice he wanted yet doesn’t actually like, or D2 drop his lollipop and it land in fluff central,  or the karate chopping at the back of the knees I have to do to get D2 to sit down, or the babycino being spilt and momma having to queue with two kiddies to get a new one, or D1 needing a poopoo after one sip of my latte.

Some days I post a photograph of two boys running around the park having fun. This photograph captures my boys having fun, being free,  it doesn’t show the grazed knees I had to kiss better, or D2 running off at every opportunity, or D1 refusing to walk because his legs hurt so much, or D2 crying because his brother whacked him on the back with half an oak tree, or D2 eating the starting-to-mould bread which was for the ducks.

Some days I post photographs of my two boys snuggled on the sofa for movie time. That moment is perfect. What you don’t see is the full on wrestling match momma had to referee and instead of time out for the four hundreth time that day momma decided it was movie time instead, or the melted piece of chocolate D2 was sat on that ends up all over my new cushions, or D1 headbutting D2 because he’s up in his personal space, or the race to the front door to grab the ever so exciting bills the postman has just delivered.

Some days I post a photograph of a date night with my husband. This moment is magical, relaxing, totally needed. What you don’t see is pre-date stress, or bathing two boys who like to reenact the Noahs Ark situation, or momma trying to make her face resemble a human whilst two tinkers jump up and down on the bed she’s perched on, or D2 getting out every toy they own, or D1 needing a poopoo with his momma present, or running out of nappies and frantically sending your husband to the shops, or getting snot on your clean date outfit. You don’t see the cross words between two flustered parents.

What you see online is not always the full story. No one has a perfect life. The photograph may not tell the whole truth, but it will tell the nicest truth, and that’s all we need to remember.

Even in the midst of chaos try and snap a memorable moment, either physically or just in your mind, life will seem a lot more enjoyable. And remember life is not always greener on the other side; a photograph leaves a thousand words (& tantrums) unspoken.

Next time you feel like your falling short in the memory making be rest assured you’re not, you’re totally normal and life is NOT a Pinterest board!

Instaforgranted; private memory making

This is just a quick little post.

I love taking photos, I love capturing a moment, and I especially love sharing them on Instagram. Memories are so important to me, I never want my children to have bad memories of their time with me or their daddy. Photographs are also important to me,  I don’t really have any of my childhood, so I am determined my children will have hundreds, as it’s something I long to have had.

I love capturing messy moments, funny moments, snuggly moments, duvet moments, water moments, fun moments, every moment, but lately I’ve become very aware of how I am capturing all these memories. I’ve become very aware that by capturing the moment from behind the screen, I’m actually not in the moment myself. By photographing the moment, I’m missing some of the moment.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I won’t be taking photographs anymore, just not as many as I used too.

I went out for the day with my eldest a few weeks ago, just the two of us. A momma and son trip to the seaside. I’d usually take several photo’s of everything we did that day, but I didn’t take any. I decided to turn off my phone and not take one single photograph. I enjoyed every single minute and so did he. He had my undivided attention for the whole day and he thoroughly enjoyed it. We had the most loveliest conversations, all frustration free. Instead of photographing the sandcastles, I helped build them without pausing. That day was so important to me, and it’s lovely to think our day is a private little memory between momma and son. No social media whatsoever.

Don’t take your everyday life for granted, stop snapping away constantly. Facebook doesn’t need to see every detail. Some days your babies need an uninterrupted momma, you’ll feel amazing for it too. Be in the moment not just present for it.

Our kids notice everything, let them notice you taking in their every word sometimes.

Memories are precious; make great ones!

Small, unseen sacrifices

When you become a momma there are so many things you gain, but let’s be honest you lose a few things too, and lots of things definitely change. Here are six things that I’ve lost, and things that have most certainly changed,  see if you relate to any of them:

1 Clean hair – Pre-children, my hair used to be washed daily, or every 48 hours on the odd occasion. It used to be cared for, trimmed, moisturised with hair masks, lathered with designer conditioner, unfrizzed with the latest serum, tamed with GHD’s, and often treated to luscious hair extensions. Washing my hair was a relaxing, thirty minutes minimum experience. Nowadays my hair is washed once or twice a week with whatever shampoo and conditioner was on offer that month at the supermarket, trimmed once a year at a push, never straightened, and is shoved up in a top knot at least 26 days out of every month. It’s no longer a relaxing experience, it’s a quick one, 90 seconds on a good day, 10 on a bad day, and it is never a solitary experience, ever. I either shower with a two year old, a three year old, Partysaurus Rex, or all three if I’m extra lucky!

2 Three meals a day – Pre-children I had three meals a day, all at the normal times. I had breakfast type food for breakfast, I had lunch type food for lunch, and dinner type food for dinner, sometimes supper. Nowadays I rarely eat breakfast, somedays I forget lunch and only remember around 3pm when I wonder why my heads pounding. Somedays I skip breakfast and lunch, unintentionally, and swap them for a biscuit or whatever my children left on their plates. Most of the time we eat dinner around 8pm, I used to cook it every day, my husband cooks more than me lately.

3 Hot drinks – Before my munchkins arrived I used to drink a lot of hot tea, this is no longer true. Sometimes I boil the kettle seven times before I have chance to make a cup of tea, other times, which is actually all the time, I forget about my tea until it’s unintentional iced tea. When I say forget, what I actually mean is ‘I’m doing one million other things for two tiny little bosses’.

4 Watching the Soaps – Pre-children I used to watch every single soap going, I loved them, knew all the characters, all the story lines, and even got excited waiting for them to come on tv. Nowadays I couldn’t even tell you the last time I watched one, probably 2012 some time. I don’t know any characters, or story lines, or even the days of the week they are on. What I do know is Chugginton story lines, the words to every Sheriff Callie song, the plot of every Disney movie, and every dance move of Zingzillas.

5 Clothes shopping – Before my babies, I loved clothes shopping, a little addiction of mine. I loved sales, I loved grabbing a bargain, I loved rummaging. D1 didnt mind up until 18 months old, he was a quiet little shopper with momma, D2 wasn’t and still isn’t, not at all. If I so much as even turn the pram wheels slightly towards the entrance of a clothes shop D2 yells, and shouts, and moans. Clothes shopping is now only done out of necessity, or better still,online. Clothes shopping used to make me feel warm, and fluffy. Clothes shopping now makes me agitated and sweaty.

6 Phonecalls and texting – Pre-children you could reach me 24/7, and I’d reply pretty much straight away, but today is a different story. I no longer reply quickly, this will be due to various reasons; I read it and forgot to reply, I started to reply but had to prepare a bath, or snack, or wipe a bogey, or clean up spilt milk, I read it and then had to referee a wrestling match in my lounge etc. The list is endless, it’s no reflection on how I view you, it’s me failing at multitasking. I reply, eventually, but my time scale can be up to seven days. And phonecalls?!; they just don’t really exist in my life anymore, I rarely have the time or two hands free to answer a call.

These six things are actually nothing in comparison to the joy my munchkins bring into my life though, but they’ve happened nonetheless. I wouldn’t trade any of it back though, they’re the most important things in my life, and their health and happiness comes before everything, even clean hair!

Keep going momma, you’re not the only one with bogof hair products!