This is Motherhood

Recently I saw a post on a social media site about motherhood and its reality, and it really struck a nerve with me. When you think of motherhood you picture children running merrily over hills flying kites whilst proud parents look on and smile, you think of wonderful picnics next to a lake with homemade cakes, you think of going on adventures,  peaceful visits to the toy store for a treat with happy and grateful children, you picture immaculate houses with children sitting and playing nicely, you think of craft activities and homemade collages, you think of family trips to the beach and building sand castles together, you picture homebaking with children who are eager to learn, you picture visits to the swings on hot summer days, you picture everything with rose-tinted-perfection glasses. Don’t get me wrong, all of these things can happen, but they’re missing a few details.

Motherhood is amazing. Motherhood is by far my most favourite journey i’ve ever embarked upon. Motherhood is the biggest privilege I have ever been given. But motherhood is hard, very hard. motherhood is picturesque. Motherhood is perfectly imperfect.

We are so hard on ourselves as mothers, we have so many unrealistic expectations of ourselves and failure of these is inevitable, but we don’t give ourselves a break. We think we are doing everything wrong, and worry that we are not creating enough good memories for our children, but if you’re loving them and are there for them then that is enough, more than enough.

Motherhood is not just the good times, not just the holidays, the treats, the games, the visits to the park, the fairground rides, the beach trips, motherhood is so much more than all of this.

Putting the fourth load of laundry that day into the washer and getting it out to dry, this is motherhood.

Wiping the spilt milk your 4yo spilt despite you reminding him to be careful three billion times, this is motherhood.

Sweeping up the stamped upon cereal for the third time that morning, this is motherhood.

Lying awake crying, worrying if you are really up to the job of being a mother, this is motherhood.

Filling out paperwork for nursery, and pre-school, and junior school, and senior school, this is motherhood.

Crying on the bathroom floor because you’ve not slept in what seems like forty years because your baby just will not sleep, this is motherhood.

Searching the house for a pacifier or a manky blanky for thirty minutes whilst your baby screams, this is motherhood.

Using baby wipes to clean everything in your house, this is motherhood.

Wearing the same pair of leggings and top most days of the week because you now spend all of your money on your children, this is motherhood.

Deciding to home-school because this is best for your children, this is motherhood.

Listening to your child talk about their favourite thing for what seems like 36 hours straight because that’s how long their stories take, yet you listen intently because you know listening now will mean they’ll know they can always talk to you, even when they have flown the nest, this is motherhood.

Lying on the floor all night next to your child’s bed when they have a fever, this motherhood.

Peeling soaking covers from your child’s bed when they have an accident, and reassuring them it’s ok, this is motherhood.

Kissing grazed knees and healing them with your kisses, this is motherhood.

Giving the last piece of dessert to your children when you so desperately needed that chocolate fix yourself when they’d already eaten their piece the day before, this is motherhood.

Placing a towel on top of a soggy sheet that your baby wet just so you can get some desperately needed sleep, this is motherhood.

Sniffing the brown, suspicious stain on the sofa, and licking it when smell alone fails, despite the possibility of it being poop, this is motherhood.

Using your scarf as a napkin when you forget to bring the baby wipes out again, this is motherhood.

Karate chopping the back of the knees of a flailing child so that you can get them into their car seat to get them home, this is motherhood.

Grocery shopping and children, need I say more? This is motherhood.

Looking your child in the eye and apologising when you yell, this is motherhood.

Kissing your child goodnight, and again, and again and again because they need ‘just one more’, this is motherhood.

Staying awake all night to take their temperature because they have a high fever, this is motherhood.

Working every hour God sends to provide a roof over your children’s heads and clothes on their back, this is motherhood.

Reminding them to wear their hat at school when the sun is out, this is motherhood.

Teaching them about safety, and strangers, and roads, this is motherhood.

Reading them stories at bedtime, at any time, this is motherhood.

Telling them you love them, hugging them, nuzzling them, sniffing them, this is motherhood.

Spending hours persuading them to take their medicine when they’re ill, despite wanting to give up trying, this is motherhood.

Cleaning mud off wellies, and washing waterproofs, this is motherhood.

Letting them play in sand, in water, in mud, on grass, outside, letting them explore, this is motherhood.

Holding their hand at the hospital and igniting their courage, this is motherhood.

The seen, the unseen, the heard, and the unheard, it’s all motherhood, whether daytime or early hours of the morning, everything you do for those children of yours is worth it, and they will remember. Their hearts will know. They will remember the mother who kissed the scraped knees, who made the world brighter with a snuggle, who said yes as often as was possible, who held them when they were scared, who never left their side when  germs took over, who listened to their stories and the things that were important to them, and the mother who loved them regardless of spillages and bad decisions.

Everything you do is important. It is not all about the fun Instagram-perfect memories, it’s everything you do behind the scenes that matters. Motherhood is the fun, but is also the mundane. Motherhood is the highs, but also the lows.  Motherhood is the picnics, and also the all-nighters.  All the things, big, small, happy, sad, challenging, they all weave into this beautiful journey of motherhood, all of them.

Motherhood is a little bit of everything,  so give yourself a break, you’re doing just fine in this gig called motherhood!

Becci Signature

 

A Video For The Mothers With A Different Story

What is a mother? A mother is a million things, all different, but all just as important!

Take a look…

Click to play this Smilebox slideshow

Whatever your story, you matter!

Share with somebody who you think needs reminding.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar Activity

We love the story about The Very Hungry Caterpillar in our house we always have, and most likely always will. Over the years we have based so many activities on this story from paintings to taste testing, and this time story stones and play dough.

My six year is becoming an amazing reader, he is fascinated by books, and really gets lost in the story, I love watching him whilst he is reading.

I decided to make some story stones to use alongside The Very Hungry Caterpillar as a way to extend the story further, and to also help my little boy who fidgets quite a lot. I added in some coloured play dough, a piece of bark, and a laminated leaf.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar Setup

I took a few stones away to aid imagination. I then invited my six year old to come over and read the story with me if he wanted to, he excitedly obliged but told me he would be reading it to me. When he reached a part in the story he thought there should be a stone for, without prompting, he placed the stone in a timeline order.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar Activity

When he came to a part and there was no stone he decided to use the play dough to make his own interpretation i.e: the little caterpillar, and the leaf he nibbled through.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar Activity

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By the end of the book we had the whole story lined up with story stones and play dough and a beautiful stone butterfly on a piece of bark at the end. He was so proud. It really bought the story alive for him.

The very hungry caterpillar

This activity is so simple, yet so effective, and my six year old really enjoyed it. This was one of our favorite story themed activities so far, along with our Gingerbread Man activity we did a while ago.

Here’s our ‘stone how-to’:

Or stones were so easy to make, we simply painted on flat grey pebbles with acrylic paint and then once dry we outlined them with a permanent black marker pen. After a few hours to ensure the pen was dry we gave them a coating of matte Modge Podge. We then left them overnight to dry thoroughly. The possibilities are endless with story stones.

This activity is part of the National Reading Month Book Inspired Blog Hop hosted by a wonderful lady called Amy over at Learning and Exploring Through Play. Go take a look at all of the other wonderful ideas to bring books to life.

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Transport Themed Activity

When your children are under the weather you look for ways to keep them occupied that require a minimal set up and that use the least energy possible for them.

My two boys love cars, and trucks, and trains, and tracks, and roads. They also love making a mess. Today they were both under the weather so I began thinking about what activity we could do to brighten the afternoon that involved some of their favourite things.

After a quick look through my Facebook newsfeed I had a few ideas. I decided to upon a transport themed sensory activity.

I decided on using our puzzle track, 4 different modes of transport, and 4 different items that were very different in appearance and texture. I chose water beads, cotton wool balls, dried animal shaped pasta, and small plastic bottle tops.

Transport sensory activity set up

The aim of the activity was to fill up your mode of transport with your chosen items and then transport them along the track to the empty plates, and then carefully drop off your load. Along the way we placed stars, and if you managed to get all of your load to it’s destination carefully you were able to claim the star as a reward.

Transport Sensory Activity track set up

This transport themed sensory activity was a big hit with my two boys, they had so much fun!

I love watching them play, and engage in activities that strengthen their skills without them even realising it.

This activity was so good for their fine motor skills for various reasons; the track was a puzzle and they had to keep rebuilding it, they used scoops of various sizes to manipulate the objects into their chosen mode of transport, and they had to use precise movements in order to get their star reward.

Transport Themed Activity for Children

This transport themed sensory activity was also great for their hand-eye co-ordination. They had to plan their route along the track to drop off their objects. They even started counting the objects they had, bringing maths into the activity voluntarily.

Transport themed sensory activity for children

They had so much fun, and it is such a versatile activity – you could use anything around your home to recreate this transport themed sensory activity. We will definitely be making this a regular activity in our home!

Transport themed sensory activity by Swords & Snoodles

Why not have a go at creating your own transport themed sensory activity?

Mummy Matters!

Before becoming a parent, ultimately you only have yourself to please. You eat when you’re hungry, you drink when you’re thirsty, you sleep when you’re tired, you go on holiday to luxurious places, you play loud music at any time of day (or night), you can hide away in grumpy days, you can arrange big get togethers for special occasions, you shop until you drop, and you can pretty much do whatever you want to.

When you become a parent that all changes. All of it!

You eat when you have chance, sometimes not at all. You drink cold tea, cold coffee, and the odd pint of water when you’re head is throbbing from another night of no sleep.

You sleep when there is chance, which is pretty much never, and less than ‘never’ when germs are thriving.

You go on holiday to child-friendly places. Mojitos are replaced with Mojo the Monkey, or some other holiday club children’s mascot. Instead of relaxing by the pool you’re holding a flailing toddler in the pool who you are begging not to poop! Instead of that holiday spa treatment you normally indulge in a few times during your two-week break, you spend half of your holiday convincing a toddler to let you rub sunblock onto their sand-ridden skin, and the other half of the time trying to convince them to wear a hat so they don’t burn.

You don’t listen to music loudly, you don’t listen to music full stop. Kids TV does not count!

You spend your evenings being as quiet as possible, and you make every single person who enters your house aware of the unwritten rule when it comes to your babies – You wake ’em, you take ’em!

When you’re grumpy it doesn’t matter – the show must go on, and on it must! You have to paint on your smile and carry on being Mary Poppins! Your 2yo does not care if you’re feeling grumpy, they care if their raspberry jam has seeds or doesn’t, or if their orange juice is smooth or has bits!

And Shopping! O dearest shopping, how I miss thee! My children have made me despise you! I cannot go into this in too much detail, I am still grieving for the shopping days of old. The ones that were stress free, and enjoyable, and didn’t  involve anyone’s tears but my own!

Being a parent makes you feel like you have sacrificed your life and put it on hold. Although you love your babies more than life itself, it can be pretty daunting feeling like you are now just a mum, and nothing more. Your life seems to be on pause, and often we lose our identity.

Let me tell you this, you are not just a mummy!

Being a mummy (or daddy) is the most important job I have ever known. You are responsible for raising the next generation: the next prime minister, the next genius, the next doctor, the next entrepreneur, the next parent, the next designer, the next brain surgeon. Your role is vital. You are vital!

You may go to bed each night and lay there defeated after a other mundane day of wiping tears, cleaning grazes, cooking three meals, preparing snacks, breaking up fights, doing laundry, tidying toys, preparing crafts, baking, vacuuming, giving time-outs, yelling, wiping noses, washing hands, yelling some more, doing the school run, going to your other jobs, naptimes, ill children, shopping, and the like. Your pillow may often be soggy and mascara ridden. You may look in the mirror and dislike the reflection. You may replay your failures from the day before over and over again. You have to stop!

You matter! Mummy, daddy, you really matter!

Those tears you wiped have reassured your child that you love them, that you are their safe haven. You have instilled another fragment of self-worth into them, and in this world they need their self-esteem bucket brimming over. You restored their hope and vanquished their hurts.

The grazes that you cleaned up were not just physical. You cared for them, you helped them, you loved them. You hurt when they hurt. You have magical kisses! No other job role can brag about those! Cherish them!

The food you prepared, the snacks you made, and the thought behind it all are not just small parenting acts, they are huge. You ensure your child is healthy and happy. The broccoli battles are normal. The tomato tantrums are all part of being a child. Stand your ground momma, you know best!

The tidying, the vacuuming, the laundry, and the housekeeping is all appreciated. Without you the house would not be a home. Your zest for organisation and a clean home are admirable qualities that your babies notice, but get the balance right. Who needs sparkling floors anyway? You won’t use your last breath regretting the shelf you didn’t dust! Give yourself a break, the dust will still be there tomorrow! Your house does not define you, or your momma abilities.

Those five minutes you took to read a story matter, they matter every single day. They make your child feel worthwhile. The way your child told you a story about something they find exciting, and the way you looked them right in the eyes the whole time, that matters. They noticed. The gentle care you take when brushing their hair, and their teeth, that matters. The way you apologised after yelling at them today, that matters. You’re not a perfect human being, and nobody but you ever expects you to be.

Mummy, you matter. You matter a whole lot more than you think. You see the flaws, the chores, and the mundane, but your babies see their safe place, their security, their everything. Everything does change when you become a parent, but that’s because your everything has changed – it’s now in the form of a mini-you! A mini-you who watches your every move – go love yourself mummy!

If you enjoyed this post then there’s more over on my Facebook page, why not check it out now?

Don’t Take Your Kids To Public Places

Is there anything more annoying than loud, unruly children in a restaurant when you are trying to enjoy a nice quiet meal? Why do their parents even take them out knowing how loud and disruptive they will be?! Just don’t take your kids out in public. It’s much easier for everybody concerned isn’t it? Stay at home, let them go on their computer games and eat candy whilst you sit on your phone having a quick flutter or something else that makes you feel like you still enjoy life once in a while, right?

Tonight my husband and I went out to a restaurant for dinner to a quaint, quiet place in the countryside. We were near two school age children for the entire meal. I still have indigestion now thinking about the evening. The two kids should have been in bed, it was a school night afterall, but instead their parents had taken them out.

The two children got louder as the evening went by, and I could see the aggravation rising in my husbands eyes. We came out to enjoy a quiet meal, but instead we were witnessing something from a Looney Tunes cartoon.

The children shouted, laughed loud, shook condiments over people, climbed under the table, squealed loudly, were rude at times, and kept standing on their chairs. The mother tried to reason with them but to no avail. One of the children ran off around the restaurant and was dragged back!

I looked on in utter disbelief.

The children, surprisingly, ate their food despite moaning about its impending arrival. It was obviously way past their usual meal time, but each parent to their own I guess. When the kids had finished their main course they demanded pudding like their parents were slaves. Manners were scarce!

After the kids had eaten their food the rampage continued. They started swiping at the grownups with them with their teddy bears. They climbed over chairs, they made patterns in the condensation on the restaurant windows, and they jumped on the back of their mother. At one point the mother was on lockdown with the one boy. He had her hair in a death grip and they were literally both lay across the bench style seat for a good 3 minutes. What the hell? I was shocked. I was disgusted.

The whole restaurant was aware of this family, and it felt a little uncomfortable to say the least!

Why do parents with children like these inflict them upon the public? Are they really this selfish?

Anddddd stop.

The kids in this post are mine. The teddy bears were Snoodle. The hair was also mine. And the sanity has well and truly gone. Would I take them back to a restaurant? Hell yeah! That’s the life of this momma, and as ‘abnormal’ and ‘crazy’ as it may have been, they were actually pretty well behaved on this occasion. Ha, for real!

Don’t ever be ashamed or embarrassed, ever. Those onlookers know nothing about your children, or your parenting skills.

There are additional needs in our family, invisible ones, SPD and ASD, but regardless, if a restaurant has a children’s menu the fact remains that children (in all forms) are welcome.

(For all the new people over on here who don’t know my origins, my story, my life…my children are normally in bed by 7pm, this meal was 5pm ’til 7.30pm, my children didn’t run into other diners – he ran off once, it was a family celebration – we don’t go out when it’s school the next day in everyday life, my kids had ‘things’ to keep them entertained, I said manners were scarce not non-existent, I also said the mother intervened, and BAM! There you have it! This post was written to make other parents feel less alone in their struggles, nothing more, nothing less)

Making Bath Time Easier

If you have children you’ll be familiar with the scrumptious memories of the first few bath times your baby had. They look so delicate and it is one of the most petrifying things you’ll do as a first time parent. to hold this little bundle in water is scary! They smell divine and look so cuddly after they’ve had a bath don’t they?! And then they get a bit older and bath time becomes wetter and more rowdy, and then they grow up a bit more and bath time becomes a chaotic occasion! Anybody else? I hope it’s not just me!

Bath time in our house has gone from angelic babies and serenity to monstrous creatures who flood my house, and I am not exaggerating. My boys love bath time, however, they cannot listen to instructions during bath time. My floor gets soaked, my windows get washed, my tiles are bubble ridden, flannels are flung, water is thrown, water is consumed, people pee in the water, and general chaos reins. UNLESS they are distracted with bath toys, and then only mild chaos occurs.

Would you like to make bath time easier? Well I think the realistic answer is YOU CANT! Not in my house anyway, but I can make my bathroom easier to manage. furniture, floors and storage are much more easier to manage than two little people! Waterproof flooring, and a very good absorbent bath mat are a must! High shelves keeping things out of reach will also be very appreciated by yourselves once those wondering hands start trying to wash everything in sight! And finding the right storage is essential for toothbrushes, toiletries, toilet rolls, cleaners, towels, and most importantly for bath toys, storage that drains the excess water away to stop them going funky. Baskets with holes in are ideal if you’re not the DIY or upcycle type to create your own. My boys love taking toys in the bath, but we have had to throw so many away because they haven’t dried properly, but I have found an amazing idea below if you fancy a little DIY project over the christmas break, and it looks amazing! I may be brave enough to give it a go myself, have a look and see if you are!

 

Illusions Of A Parent And Car Safety

We all have dreams and ideas for our lives, our homes, our marriages,  our children. We dream of winning the Lotto or landing a big promotion. We dream of living in Mauritius with a Butler. We think big ideas regarding our future. We dream, we dream alot.

Then there’s the everyday type of dreaming; you promise yourself that tomorrow is the day you’ll have this parenting malarkey sussed and you map out your day, and even throw in a new creative activity you recently saw on Pinterest. Then real life shows up. It’s not even 9.30am and you need a double vodka, a big slice of chocolate fudge cake, and possibly a Strepsil to soothe your throat from all the yelling you’d promised yourself you weren’t going to do today, again.

Here are four dreams and romantic ideas of mine. They lull me into a false sense of dreaminess and make me think things are a good idea – when, in reality, if they don’t involve unwashed hair, pj’s, and not having to socialise with any other human beings, then it’s safe to say it’ll be a bad idea.

Lets go for a lovely drive

The dream – Let’s all hop into the family car and go for a lovely, autumnal drive. Let’s marvel at the scenery and sing along to our favourite songs. Let’s find a layby to stop and drink hot chocolate and enjoy each other’s company.

Reality – Nobody wants to go for a drive except momma. The kids karate chop each other across the seats. Momma thinks about car safety and quickly does a mental checklist; Are the coolant/water levels ok? Is the tyre pressure going to be ok and when did we last check it? Is the oil level ok? Do we have enough windscreen wash? Do all of our lights work? Is the boot free of unnecessary weight? Is everybody strapped into their seats properly without thick coats? Do we know where we are going? Right, all checked, meanwhile everybody argues over which music should be played. The car steams up and blocks everybody’s view of the scenery. The smell of the countryside makes the 5yo hurl. The hurl makes the 7yo cry. They both make momma cry. Daddy then cries after he feels a tyre blow! Forget the countryside we now need to find Kwikfit and something stronger than hot chocolate

Babycino dates with my handsome boys and my husband

The dream – We get dressed with minor fuss. Mummys hair looks great. Everyone is happy. We leave the house on time and remember everything. The journey is smooth and tearless. We order and take our seats. The boys eat the cake they chose without moaning or swapping. They sit lovely and use their manners. They drink their babycinos. We have a relaxing coffee with our lovely little boys.

Reality – The boys moan their way through waking up. Mummy is exhausted from being woken up every 45 minutes from midnight til 5am by a dehydrating three year old. The lounge floor is a Coco Pop assault course. Nobody likes milk this morning; it’s “poo poo!” Nobody wants a bath. Mummy has to karate chop pj’s off two flailing baby dragons. The bath is apparently boiling hot. Mummy slings two boys into the lava-temperature bath. Two boys get washed while doing a tantrum dance. Mummy is soaked. And mad. Nobody wants to get dressed but no choice is given. Have you tried dressing a wild coyote? Mummy gets ready in 10 minutes whilst playing referee. Daddy takes a bit longer. We leave the house 45 minutes later than planned. Mummys face sweats. Mummy forgets the changing bag. The journey is not moan free; it’s hot, the sun hurts, it’s cold, etc etc. We pull up at the coffee shop. Let’s start afresh. We order. We sit. D1 doesn’t like his chair. D2 will not swap. D1 now likes his chair. D2 now wants to swap. D1 wants Daddys cake. So does D2. No one sits still. Two dragons roar loud. D1 hits D2. A brawl occurs with a latte being piggy in the middle. People judge us. We quickly drink our coffee. We exit quick. The end.

The toystore visit

The dream – We promise our children a special treat from the big toy store for their good behaviour. We are all excited to visit the store, and feel a sense of magic. It will feel just like the Toys R Us advert. Our two children will be so excited and so grateful to us. They will hold our hand and dance down the aisle in amazement at all the wonderful toys on show.

Reality – There was no good behaviour yet we are still going to the toystore. The boys are excited. We arrive. D2 makes a getaway on the car park and runs fast. Good start. We go into the store. D1 wants the Lego aisle. D2 wants the dollies aisle. D2 lays on the floor and refuses to walk. We drag him to another aisle. We walk down the music aisle. D2 plays the keyboard. D1 pushes D2 off the stool for his turn. D2 bites D1. Timeout in a toystore is always a joyous time. Apologies are made. Fresh start. The bike aisle. D1 tests out a bike. D2 has climbed the shelf and is head first in a tractor. He screams when he is pulled out. Cue lying on the floor. After 45 minutes of pure stress we decide to leave. But not empty handed because we’re crazy like that! Anyone else? The end.

Let’s eat out for dinner

The dream – You want to spend some quality time with your family so decide to go out for dinner. You choose a child friendly restaurant and imagine the four of you enjoying a lovely meal as a family. The kids eat well and wait patiently for their pudding. You leave feeling full and proud.

Reality – You end up at Pizza hut because you know the icecream factory will be the perfect bribe for your children to behave well and eat their meal. It all starts well. D2 eats a crayon but that’s nothing abnormal. They choose their food. It takes 365 days to arrive. They get hangry. Crayons are thrown. Legs are jerked. Snarls are exchanged. The pizza arrives. Cue a break down because I won’t let my children eat molten lava pizza. It cools. They eat. They eat well. Mummy and daddys food arrives. Mid pizza the icecream tantrum begins. Everyone stares. We cave. The boys have dessert. Pizza hut call in Environmental Health to de-toddler the sprinkles and syrups counter. They have a second helping. We use four hundred baby wipes, 20 napkins, and we leave. The end.

But would we have it any other way? Yes! Yes we would 🤣

Kids Are Gross (& expensive)

Before you become a parent you have a quiet, and sometimes unconfirmed,  notion that children are messy. Children enjoy puddle jumping, making mud pies, painting, cooking, water fights,  and other seemingly cute messy activities. Children are associated with being messy, a cute sort of memory making messy.

When you become a parent you quickly realise you’ve believed a big fat lie. Children are messy. Grossly messy. Vile make you wanna vomit messy. Kids are gross! Or maybe it’s just my boys?

From the moment your babies are born you have to deal with the grossness; yellow chicken korma poops that squirt 4 metres across the room as you change your newborns nappy, or the little yellow fountain that strikes you unaware and right in the face, or the huge bogey you have to excavate like a velociraptors bones!

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As your children get older the grossness increases. I find myself doing the grossest of tasks since becoming a parent, and I also see my children partaking in gross tasks too!

For example, my 3yo had been potty trained for a while and during training he never had one single poop accident, so why on earth 6 months later he has pooped in his pants several times a day I do not know. I have a rule, if its bigger than a 10 pence piece I throw the pants away, (this rule got quashed after the 7th pair of new pants I had to bin!) if not I scrub them and wash them. Scrubbing somebody else’s poop is beyond vile, especially with a sensitive gag reflex like mine. I tried every parenting approach possible to break this pooping habit. Then I thought we’d cracked it. A whole five days with no accidents, until day six. Five flaming accidents. I felt like I stank of a 3yo’s poop. I could smell it everywhere. Accidents in pjs, in new pants, in the bath. Everywhere!  It was hard not to be cross, and sick! Nobody warned me about poop regression and the smell of hot poop being scrubbed away. Big fat vom!! Kids are gross! I needed to take a small loan out to supply him with underwear!

Not all of the gross moments are quite this bad though. They vary on the grossness scale!

Here are some of my grossest tasks during my first 4 years of motherhood and some gross things my kids did. Can you relate?

Being given a huge bogey to dispose of, in a tissueless hand.

Wondering if your child has pooped, and pulling back his nappy to check. Poop finger alert!

Going to kiss your child and he burps. In your mouth.

Going to kiss your child and he licks your nostril.

Being out in public, with no bins, no wipes, and being handed a dribble filled fluff ridden sweet – your only option is to eat it!

Having my second child drop his dummy in the sand. No Milton, no water, no anything – you have no choice but to suck it clean to mask his squeals!

My toddler treads in dog poop at the park. I can’t find the owner of the excrement to clean the shoe so I resort to a stick!

My 3yo decides to wee all over my 2yo (my husband said I needed to point out that this was in the bath!)

My 2yo eats a whole stick of chalk. Picking it out their teeth is not pretty.

Toddler vomit is horrendous. Picking up chunks of regurgitated salmon fishcakes is something that scars you for life.

My 2yo picks up a dead fly. He chews and swallows in 2 seconds flat. I pass out.

My 2yo eats sand, by the handful. He chews. He enjoys it. He is gross.

My 2yo loves licking my cat and then running around with his tongue out shocked it’s covered in fur. De-furring a 2yo’s tongue is a very difficult task.

My 2yo finds sweets on the floor and instantly eats them.

My 3yo feeds my 2yo his bogeys. My 2yo willingly takes them and eats them before I can reach him.

My 3yo has a rude itch. He scratches. He offers you his fingers for a smell. Gross.

There are hundreds more. Too many too mention. Some too gross to mention. The ages 5 to 6 have been something else! I’m sure that will be another post one day soon!

 

The World Of Siblings

I am an only child. I’ve never experienced sibling love or rivalry. I didn’t have to share my loved ones or my toys. I didn’t wear hand-me-down clothing, and I didn’t have to share my room. I don’t know what it’s like to have a sibling, or what the ‘normal’ is in regards to your siblings.

I know nothing about sibling relationships.

My two boys are now 5yo and 6yo, and I often find myself asking my husband if this is normal behaviour for siblings. Are sibling relationships really meant to be like this? Should I be wanting to pull my hair out several times a day? My husband has both brothers, and sisters. He usually just laughs at me like I’m crazy for even asking, but I do question them in my mind, a lot.

Is it normal to sneakily punch your younger brother on the way past him?

Is it normal to ask your brother to smell your feet?

Is it normal to ask your brother to hold a bogey for you?

Is it normal to compare ‘toe fluff’ with that of your brothers toes?

Is it normal to randomly lick your older brother?

Is it normal to push your brother down the slide backwards?

Is it normal to chase your brother with ‘cheesy puff fingers’ and make him cry because he hates the smell?

Is it normal to wrestle like your arch enemies?

Is it normal to make your little bother ‘walk the plank’?

Is it normal to force your brother to have ‘fake medicine’ and be your patient?

Is it normal to nearly lightsaber your brother into oblivion?

Is it normal to push each other so often?

Is it normal that everything has to be a competition?

Is it normal to offer your brother a piece of candy only because it fell on the floor?

Is it normal to splash each other until tears occur in the bath?

Is it normal to pee over your brother in the bath?

Is it normal to constantly tell tales on one another?

Is this what brothers do?

My husband says yes, unreservedly yes! I have no choice but to believe him, and enjoy this crazy-chaotic-sibling relationship.

In the mean time I’ll stick to strong coffee, chocolate and rest in the fact that if I do end up pulling my hair out I can always turn to Advanced Tricho Pigmentation Treatment for a little help! 🤣

Here’s to a funfilled next few years with my little rascals!