The Modern Face Of Marriage

The Modern Face Of Marriage…

Tying the knot is, for most people, a chance to confirm their love and commitment to their partner in front of their family and friends. A chance to celebrate their memories and look to the future. It’s long been a tradition and for some it’s the traditional vows and commitment that make it so appealing. In today’s age, however, there isn’t just one face of marriage. From the ceremony to the commitment, marriage means something different to everyone.

Religious or civil, big or small the type of service you choose can be a reflection of you as a couple. And for some, marriage isn’t even on the agenda. Cohabiting couples and single dwellers are more than common in 2017 with a distinctive lack of pressure to get married compared with previous generations. Multiple marriages are no longer a taboo either, with many people choosing to re-marry if it didn’t quite work out the first time around.

Slater and Gordon, a family law firm in London, recently carried out a survey to find out what the modern face of marriage really is. Here are the results;

  • 69% of people believe the biggest benefit to marriage is the commitment to a relationship…

  • …whilst 42% see increased financial security as the main benefit.

  • 53% of those surveyed believe they would (or did) choose a civil ceremony as opposed to a religious one.

  • Out of all those surveyed, 54% of people have experienced a close family member getting divorced.

  • 23% of people have been divorced themselves.

  • 69% of people believe there is less pressure to get married compared to 10 years ago.

I was 21 when I married my husband, he was 20. I’m now more in love with him than I have ever been, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. But marriage is hard work, even more so once yo become parents, so I make a conscious effort to be a good wife.

When you fall in love you forget the world around you. Your every waking thought is consumed with this exciting, butterflies-in-tummy, love. Your world is a bright place, with kites and bunnies, sunshine and lollipops. You feel madly in love! The reality though is that this is not love, not real love anyway. Real love is not always pretty.

Some days my husband comes home to Mary Poppins; the kids have behaved, the house is clean, the kids are fed and bathed and already in their pyjamas, I have clean hair, my makeup is still intact, dinner is in the slow cooker, and there’s a smile on my face. Other days my husband walks into the lair of Cruella De’ville; the kids have misbehaved since morning, they don’t know how to share, they fight, they cry, they refuse food, they shout, every task has been a battle, there’s been wee on the floor, food on the floor, four million poops, sand all over my kitchen floor, chalk on the walls, paint in their mouths, things have been thrown, things have been smashed, inedible items have entered the digestive system, mommas had no time for breakfast or lunch, everything’s gone wrong, mummy wants to cry, mummy’s mentally packing her suitcase, mummy feels not up to the job, mummy didn’t have time to shower, mummy’s got greasy hair, and there is no food in for dinner. Whatever the mood, my husband gets the brunt of it both good and bad!

Some days I am madly in love, and can’t wait to see my husband, other days I feel so exhausted and just want to go to bed at 7pm to recharge, but this will not help my marriage.

Relationships are hard work. They require maintenance, and without it they end up being scrapped. They die, yet all they needed was a drop of water, something to revive it. I make a point of telling my husband several times a day I love him, I write him little notes to leave in his lunch bag, I send him silly pins on Pinterest. He deserves my best, not just my derailed self first thing in the morning with huge hair and mascara stained eyes, or end of the day stressed-out me. I want him to see me at my greatest even though he loves me regardless.

Being a mummy subconsciously robs you of some of your identity as a wife – not in a negative way, your children become your priority, and makeup etc seem less significant because time is precious and totally used up. This is why you have to consciously make an effort; wear makeup, wash your hair, look good, feel good – YOU still matter!

I’m a nightmare for going to sleep at 6:30 with our boys. Some days are hard, and tiring, and all I want to do is sleep (& sometimes I do), but I force myself to get up and spend some time with my husband, and our relationship gets invested in, and ultimately grows stronger.

When weeks are busy I get so grotty and unbearable, I snap at my husband, even his breathing irritates me, yet I always discover it’s because we’ve not spent any time together for a few days – I’m a weird one! The quote “Leave me alone, I’m lonely” describes me to a tee. Once we spend time together I feel so much better, united, revived, and loved. Even five minutes together makes all the difference.

This is our modern marriage.

Relationships don’t come with a lifetime guarantee, you have to keep renewing it. But I vow to forever.

#themodernmarriage

 

 

National Sea Life Centre Birmingham

This weekend we were extremely honoured to be invited to visit the National Sea Life Centre Birmingham to explore their Ancient Oceans event. We love the Sea Life Centre, and it never ceases to amaze us, so with the added lure of Dinosaur Detection it was a great day out.

The Ancient Oceans event is running until 21st February, and takes you back in time to when dinosaurs roamed the land, and fearsome creatures lurked in the depths of the bubbly blue. There are challenges to complete and secrets to discover which can be exchanged for a Dinosaur Detective certificate at the end, plus a Sea Life Centre medal. There are lots of different activities going on during the event, and you’re also given a timetable for the centre at the admissions desk.

One of our challenges was to keep a look out for seven bones as we made our way around the centre. We had a sheet with the bones on and a sheet of numbered stickers to add on once we discovered them on the  journey around. My two boys (three if I include my husband) loved this.

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Our first port of call was the penguins. There is a big wall of frost and ice as you reach the penguins, and my boys love leaving their handprints on there, it’s a lovely way for the children to get a full-on sensory experience. The penguins always amaze my children, and being able to see them both on land and in the water is fascinating.

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As you make your way around the centre there is always something to look at. The floor to ceiling fish tank is amazing, and always captivates my three year old. There is also a rock pool area where you can get hands on with some sea creatures. My boys are usually too anxious to touch any of the sea creatures, but this time they decided beforehand they were going to be brave and touch a starfish, and my 5yo carried out his plans, the 3yo ran a mile.

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The coral cave also captured the attention of my children, it was so lovely being able to get so close to the fish, even this yellow fellow below!

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The Sea Life Centre has really taken interaction on-board in it’s structure. A favourite part for us was the Starfish area, my boys loved this. It’s a fantastic way to get up close and personal with these sea creatures. There are pop up domes to stand under, tunnels to climb through, and portholes to look through. They really enjoyed this part.

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The jelly fish are another part my boys loved. It’s great being able to get so close.

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During the Ancient Oceans event there are activities in a small room by the otter enclosure.  My boys loved discovering dinosaur fossils, and as a reward they were given a real shark tooth! These teeth are now their pride and joy!

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There are several fun interactive boards around the centre too, this one was a big hit with my 3yo!

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The 360 degrees Oceanic Tunnel is amazing at the Sea Life Centre. It’s such a wonderful experience, and my children and I are always amazed. They always look out for the giant sea turtle too!

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And, of course, at the end there is a mini soft play for the kiddies that always ends our trip well!

Up close with sea star at Sea Life Birmingham

Thanks for another great day out National Sea Life Centre Birmingham, we’ll definitely be back soon!