Edible Paint Activity

My boys love making a mess, and getting creative. My 2yo is obsessed with painting, but even more obsessed with eating it! The amount he consumes during the painting of an A3 sheet of paper is crazy. This is why I decided to create an edible paint. I basically put food colouring into condensed milk. Then I went to a cheap supermarket to buy several white and neutral coloured foods, both sweet and savoury.

I brought white bread, meringue nests, prawn crackers, pink wafers, and custard cream biscuits. Popcorn would be a great one too but the shop had no stock.

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I mixed the edible paint into a clean paint pallete.

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The food and food colouring cost around £5.50 total from a cheap supermarket.

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This activity is relatively mess free, and that’s a miracle in this house! We also coincided it with afternoon snack.

Here’s a few photos of our edible paint session:

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Then my 3yo made a traffic light.

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My boys were so excited that they could paint food and then still eat it!

I’d recommend this activity to everyone. It was cheap and very easy to do! Have a go and share your photos with me here on my Facebook page!

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Nobody warns you kids are gross!

Before you become a parent you have a quiet, and sometimes unconfirmed,  notion that children are messy. Children enjoy puddle jumping, making mud pies, painting, cooking, water fights,  and other seemingly cute messy activities. Children are associated with being messy, a cute sort of memory making messy.

When you become a parent you quickly realise you’ve believed a big fat lie. Children are messy. Grossly messy. Vile make you wanna vomit messy. Kids are gross! Or maybe it’s just my boys?

From the moment your babies are born you have to deal with the grossness; yellow chicken korma poops that squirt 4 metres across the room as you change your newborns nappy, or the little yellow fountain that strikes you unaware and right in the face, or the huge bogey you have to excavate like a velociraptors bones!

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As your children get older the grossness increases. I find myself doing the grossest of tasks since becoming a parent, and I also see my children partaking in gross tasks too!

For example, my 3yo had been potty trained since last December, and during training he never had one single poop accident, so why on earth he has pooped in his pants several times lately I do not know. I have a rule, if its bigger than a 10 pence piece I throw the pants away, (this rule got quashed after the 7th pair of new pants I had to bin!) if not I scrub them and wash them. Scrubbing somebody else’s poop is beyond vile, especially with a sensitive gag reflex like mine. I’ve tried every parenting approach possible to break this pooping habit. Then I thought we’d cracked it. A whole five days with no accidents, until today. Five flaming accidents. I feel like I stink of a 3yo’s poop. I can smell it everywhere. Accidents in pjs, in new pants, in the bath. Everywhere!  It’s hard not to be cross, and sick! Nobody warned me about poop regression and the smell of hot poop being scrubbed away. Big fat vom!! Kids are gross!

Not all of the gross moments are quite this bad though. They vary on the grossness scale!

Here are my grossest tasks since becoming a momma 4 years ago and some gross things my kids do. Can you relate?

Being given a huge bogey to dispose of, in a tissueless hand.

Wondering if your child has pooped, and pulling back his nappy to check. Poop finger alert!

Going to kiss your child and he burps. In your mouth.

Going to kiss your child and he licks your nostril.

Being out in public, with no bins, no wipes, and being handed a dribble filled fluff ridden sweet – your only option is to eat it!

Having my second child drop his dummy in the sand. No Milton, no water, no anything – you have no choice but to suck it clean to mask his squeals!

My toddler treads in dog poop at the park. I can’t find the owner of the excrement to clean the shoe so I resort to a stick!

My 3yo decides to wee all over my 2yo (my husband said I needed to point out that this was in the bath!)

My 2yo eats a whole stick of chalk. Picking it out their teeth is not pretty.

Toddler vomit is horrendous. Picking up chunks of regurgitated salmon fishcakes is something that scars you for life.

My 2yo picks up a dead fly. He chews and swallows in 2 seconds flat. I pass out.

My 2yo eats sand, by the handful. He chews. He enjoys it. He is gross.

My 2yo loves licking my cat and then running around with his tongue out shocked it’s covered in fur. De-furring a 2yo’s tongue is a very difficult task.

My 2yo finds sweets on the floor and instantly eats them.

My 3yo feeds my 2yo his bogeys. My 2yo willingly takes them and eats them before I can reach him.

My 3yo has a rude itch. He scratches. He offers you his fingers for a smell. Gross.

There are hundreds more. Too many too mention. Some too gross!

What are your grossest moments?

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My kids offend me!

Some of us get offended easily. Some of us don’t. But I guarantee if you are a parent to toddlers you’ll be offended by them, very offended. And not just on one occasion, but on several! Daily! My kids offend me a lot!

My children are my world, I’d sacrifice anything for them, and do they appreciate that about me? At age two and three, hell no! They don’t appreciate anything I do. Not because they’re bad or rude, but because they’re a little too young yet. And I can live with that, most of the time. Some of the time, however, I cannot. I get deeply offended to grudging point. I’m laughing as I type as I am actually just kidding. The kind of just kidding with a sprinkle of ‘not really’ on top though.

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I thought I’d share six of my reoccurring offended moments with you. Please tell me I’m not alone!

The dinner offense
You plan 7 days ahead. Each meal is carefully balanced nutrient wise. You cook it lovingly. My children would be happy with character spaghetti and crumpets every evening or chicken nuggets and hashbrowns, and the worn out momma in me desperately wants to dish up a quick tv dinner for them. But i don’t. I make sure they eat a variety of vegetables with each meal. I make sure they eat carbohydrates and protein. I lovingly prepare nutritious meals. I arrange the food the way each child likes it. At the same time I also referee a match between two tired trolls in my lounge. I sweat. I get irrate. I wish for bedtime. But I persevere. Some days my meals are welcomed with open arms, most days to be quite honest. But on some occassions I serve up poisonous yackiness. How dare I cook a lovely meal? There’s flailing, sqawking, and mouth clamping. Then there’s timeout. A very long timeout! I ask myself why I bothered and vow tomorrow I’ll give them genetically modified 15% chicken nuggets with deep fried chips. I take it personal. Then I have to get over it.

The new clothing offense
Since becoming a momma I rarely spend money on new clothes for myself. I’d rather spend it on my children. On the rare occasion I’ll purchase something new. A new top maybe. I save it for an occassion that doesn’t involve the four walls of my home. I look forward to wearing it. New clothes make you feel less mummified. I try it on. My three year old then looks me up and down. “Mummy what is that top? I don’t like it. Dont wear that!” And within 5 seconds you’re knocked to the ground by the words of a toddler and you would like to carefully clip him around the ear. I take it personal. Then I have to get over it.

The no kiss diss offense
We’ve all been there; you ask your child for a kiss. They point blank refuse and then go out of their way to kiss the next nearest grownup! Do they even love you? I take it personal. Then get over it.

The decorating offense
We spent hundreds of pounds and hundreds of hours decorating a joint room for our darlings. Every last detail was thought about. It was accessories heaven. It involved everything they love. Or so I thought. My darling three year old walked in and said “Wow! But wheres the clouds wallpaper like in Toy Story?!” Gutted. Got over it.

The Pintetest offense
I spend countless hours at night researching creative and sensory ideas for my boys. I love letting them express themselves. Some activities involve specialist items, and a week or two to prepare all the things you’ll need. You get excited. You explain the activity to your kids. Your two year old shares your view. Your three old doesn’t. He doesn’t even want to give it a go. He’s adamant it’s boring. Why do you bother? I’ll just sit you in front of Jeremy Kyle then tomorrow. Offended? Yes! Moving on, again.

The other mum offense
I am very protective of my munchkins; not in a smothering way, but in a good way. I am responsible for their hearts and minds right now. I have to protect their innocence at all costs. I am conscious of all they see, hear, read, play, and watch. They only watch toddler appropriate cartoons and films. Nothing else. They play toddler and preschool games on the Tablet. They even ask me if they are old enough to watch things i.e. Batman Lego Movie incase it’s scary or for big boys. They don’t question this 99.9% of the time. My three year old does 00.1% of the time. “Mummy my friend played a game with naughty pirates and it was spooky I think. Why can’t I play it? Why did his Mummy let him?” and then cue the tears and tantrum. Does he not know I’m protecting him? Does he not know he’d be scared and his little mind would lose some of it’s innocence? I take it personal. I wish he could understand I’m not like some of the other mums but for good reasonds. Not because I am a killjoy. I remember my reasons, their hearts, their minds. I get over it and stand firm.

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The things you say as parents of toddlers

Since becoming a momma to two boys I’ve quickly learnt that they are a totally different species to girls. I am constantly asking my husband if their behaviour is normal for boys. Is it normal they slam dunk each other at every opportunity? Is it normal they turn everything into a weapon to either chop or shoot eachother with? Is it normal to eat your bogeys? Is it normal to not be able to sit still for more than thirty seconds? Is it normal to spend 15 minutes carefully building a Duplo creation just to knock it down with Buzz Lightyear in one foul swoop? I am assured, without a doubt, that, yes, they are very normal.

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I often find myself saying the most obscure things to them, and telling them off for doing things that I never even dreamt were doable. The things you say as parents are crazy! If these sentences were used on their own you’d think I was rearing some sort of Mowgli. I thought I’d compile a few examples for your entrainment. Here goes:

“D2! Do not lick the fence panels you’ll get splinters in your tongue!”

“D2 stop shouting ‘roll up roll up it’s face paint time’. The sand in your hand is not facepaint. Do not throw it at D1’s face!”

“Don’t lick the cat!”

“Get your face out of the cat bowl!”

“Do not feed your brother your bogeys!”

“Do not eat your brothers bogeys!”

“Do not spit into your brothers mouth!”

“Don’t eat the cat fluff!”

“Get Mcqueen out of my cup!”

“Stop eating chalk!”

“Stop sucking bricks!”

“Don’t push the post back through the letterbox!”

“Get off my windowsill!”

“Don’t eat things out the bin!”

“Get out the bin!”

“Please do not wee over your brother in the bath! ”

“No, i do not want to smell your fingers!”

“Don’t throw Cheerios at the tv!”

“Don’t post Batman in Daddys sub speaker!”

“Don’t lick the tv!”

“Don’t pull your tinky so hard!”

“Please don’t paint each other!”

“Please don’t sit on your brothers head!”

“Don’t throw the bread at the ducks face!”

“Don’t ride your bike in the pool!”

“Please get your hands out of your nappy!”

“No you’re not having cake. It’s 4.45am!”

“Nooooo. It’s salt, NOT sprinkles!”

“Please don’t lick my toe!”

“Do not throw rocks at your brothers head!”

“Please get your naked butt off my pillow!”

“Don’t put peas up your nose!”

“Do not pour your milk out and jump in it!”

“Please don’t lick your brothers wellies!”

“Do not stick your toe up the hot water tap!”

“Please don’t poke things down the back of the radiator!”

“Please don’t stroke your goldfish so hard!”

“Please don’t eat the butter like it’s yoghurt!”

“Please get your hand out of the toilet. Your brother is trying to wee!”

In fact my list of funny things I find myself saying could go on! How about you? What funny things do you find yourself saying? Follow me on Facebook and Twitter and let me know!